Thursday, October 29, 2009

Can #3: Warren Zevon's (Tuna) Fish Burrito

Can #3: best by Aug 20 2009. VAL2E 1ZSWG 09:56 (I should mention that this can is slightly dented, probably by the original owners)

Sometimes, you have to improvise and go with what you have in the house. Pickings have been kind of slim lately. Then, someone named Lee made a comment and all of a sudden an idea came to me (like a bolt of tuna-lightning) and I was off and running.

I love Warren Zevon and I am, and never have been, afraid to admit it. His chili recipe can be found here: . It has changed my chili life. Mostly through one tiny sentence in the recipe, "Put in plenty of cumin and keep putting it in. Believe it." Can't you just hear him saying: "Believe it." I have never looked back.

So, because these are some of the great ingredients I have in the house, today I am going to attempt a "Zevon-chili-spiced" (tuna) fish burrito, made with mozzarella cheese ('cause that's the kind of cheese he has).

My buddy, James Kirk, and I have been comparing weight-loss notes. He lost 25 pounds because he quit drinking for 4 months! One of the reasons I have weight is drinking, and eating late at night. But also because sometimes I will own flour tortillas, cheese and a microwave.

Anyway, 1 or 2 big flour tortillas
some mozzarella cheese
a can of tuna, spiced like warren zevon's chili...that's with new mexico chilis, a little cayenne, cumin, garlic salt, black pepper and a little oregano. I also put in some of those great red jalapenos from last week.

Take the tuna mix, spread it on the tortilla on a plate, put some cheese on top of the tuna and heat it up in the microwave (you heard me).

Take it out and top it with, like actual fish tacos, a little tartar sauce, some hot sauce (God bless, Tapatio) and, also like fish tacos, a little shredded cabbage. Believe it.

He says: "It's delicious!"

What an Excitable Boy!

Ray Halliday Poses With Fruit to Show All is Well!

Important Announcement!

It has been reported that just a little while ago, Ray Halliday cut his finger on one of the, so-called, tuna cans. Reports confirm that he is able to stand, and miraculously, we have heard that he still plans on going for a run, and that he still plans on going through with eating can #3 later today.
(You know, this is just the kind of real-life drama, that keeps me tun(a)ing in)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Now YOU can be part of the fun!

Here's the thing. What do YOU do with tuna fish? I'm looking for interesting ways to keep this blog interesting. We've got 10 cans left! If you have a terrific tuna-y recipe. Send it to Ray Halliday! (He seems like a very good guy). Put 'em in the comments section!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Medical Updates: Fear Not

Let me first say that I am okay. I repeat: Okay.

Yesterday, after having Can #2, it was reported that Ray Halliday was feeling somewhat tired, worn down, and in the middle of the afternoon. He said he thought he might need a nap, which is not unusual for him. Still, after having that sandwich, it was a point of concern. Halliday said that it was most likely due to some new job stress, and also the fact that he was forced to take an early retirement from love. Not to worry, somehow he rallied, and the nap was skipped.

Today, he was seen running through the panhandle. He would like to thank all the tunablog fans, especially the elementary school kids, who have been lining up along his route to cheer him on. Also: more good news, two more pounds down since last month. And, according to his doctor: blood pressure is way down....way down, People...

Also, that early report of pain and tingling in his hands had a very logical explanation and it had nothing to do with Chicken of the Sea.

In other words, he's okay. Thanks for all the cards and letters.

Next week: How will a wicked-busy schedule affect eating tuna fish? Tune in!

Friday, October 23, 2009


Can #2....the stamp on this can is too blurry to read the tuna i.d. # or the best by date...(who would give such a reckless gift?)

Obviously, time is not on my side, and with each day that goes by, the danger becomes more and more real. (Yuh, that's why we keep reading). Once again, abandoned by spotters, Ray Halliday goes it alone. This time, he makes a simple, simple tuna sandwich with nothing but some hot peppers and vidalia onion-stuff his mom got him to provide a buffer between him and the dangerous fish. (He really is going out there for his public).

Although we cannot tell what the future brings for him, I will say this, he seems to be very happy at the moment, being full of sandwich, with, as far as we can tell, nothing going wrong on his insides...

Wait his ear hurting a little bit?, we think it's nothing...

Certainly, we will keep you informed as things progress....

Friday, October 16, 2009

Seen in Good Health and Even Better Company!

Ray Halliday was seen, and this picture is the proof, last night 10/15/09, in good health, not complaining, eating Chinese food, drinking beer, chuckling at times, and listening to some very nice clarinet music.

He was still having some tingling and aching in his hands, but it did not deter his good, good time.

He might've even connected up with a job. A JOB! Let the Chicken of the Sea people know!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

No Spotters Available!

As I write you this I have finished the first can of Questionable Tuna. Sadly, there were no spotters available, so if, perhaps, I were to lose all feeling in my legs, or experience sudden blindness, I would be completely on my own. I wasn't thinking, America, and I will try and always have a spotter with me in the future. Although, awkwardly enough, because of the great risk I am taking, I will never be able to offer the spotter a bite of the same thing I am eating, even though it might look delicious, and they might beg me.

Before you start asking, I heated the tuna in the microwave and it was delicious, spicy and sweet all at the same time. The tuna came out of the can as if it was perfectly okay, all white, solid and albacorey. Just to review, it's white bun, tuna all soaked in NC BBQ sauce, topped with BBQ slaw. That's what you're seeing in the picture.

How does it compare to pulled pork? That is a question I do not feel like answering. Let's just say that the NC BBQ tuna sandwich is a good sandwich.

As for my health, it's only been a few minutes, and except for a tiny amount of pain/tingling in my fingers I feel alright. Full, and ready to face my empty day. My heart rate is up, but I am sure that is just fear, after all, I have just crossed over some mysterious border that I am sure there is no returning from.

I will contact you tomorrow and let you know how I am doing. If you do not hear from me, please contact the Chicken of the Sea people, and tell them my story.

First Can: North Carolina Pulled Pork (Questionable Tuna) Sandwich.

Can One: Best By Aug 20 2009 VAL2E 1ZSWG 10:26

If you’ve lived in the Bay Area for any amount of time, you know that the only place to get a good NC-BBQ’d pulled pork sandwich is either at my apartment or some potluck that I happen to be attending.

Obviously, I can’t tell you how I prepare and pull my own pork. But it doesn’t matter here, because we’re going to substitute the Questionable Tuna for the pork.

I make a delicious NC BBQ sauce, and here, minus the secrets, is my recipe:


2 cups Cider Vinegar

3 tablespoons Ketchup

2 tablespoons Brown Sugar

4 teaspoons Coarse Salt

1 tablespoon Tabasco Sauce or other hot sauce

1 to teaspoons Hot Red Pepper Flakes, or more to taste

1 to teaspoons Black Pepper

The trick is to take the meat, soak/douse, uh, marinate it in the sauce. Put the meat on the cheapest whitest bun you can get your hands on, and then top it off with some NC BBQ slaw. Here’s my recipe, minus the secrets, for the BBQ slaw:

4 c. cabbage, chopped fine

3 Tbsp sugar

1/3 c. Heinz catsup

2 Tbsp white vinegar

1 tsp salt

1/4 tsp black pepper, or to taste

dash (or more) Cayenne

Chop cabbage. Mix other ingredients until dissolved. Add to cabbage--mix well. Cover and refrigerate. Keeps practically forever.

I've got to go take a shower and buy some buns. I'll be back in a bit to EAT IT! I'm nervous, obviously, but I believe that things are going to be okay...

Can you heat tuna in a microwave? Or should I eat it cold?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Shape of Ray Halliday

Ray Halliday is a 46 year old male. He weighs, like, 190, but he's recently lost 8 pounds. He's also taking 12.5 (approx.) of Hydrochlorothiazid for high(ish) blood pressure. The pills are 25 mg and you have to cut them in half with a razor. It's ridiculous. The pills explode into dust and you end up licking up the powder that is left, hoping you've taken the right amount. Here he is getting ready for a run of a little more than 5 miles. He does this almost every day but he has to wear special shoes. He says his little ipod shuffle is what keeps him going. He enjoys listening to music and things like This American Life. Today he plans on listening to some Vic Chesnutt, Elvis Costello, John Lennon, They Might Be Giants, The Cars, and some podcasts from The Moth. He kind of drinks too much, not crazy, but often by himself. He eats too much, and it's mostly out of boredom. He recently went to the doctors after an 11 year absence, and except for the high blood pressure thing, he is diabetes and restless-leg syndrome free. He should be in good shape to eat some tuna.

One Broken Man, 12 Cans of Questionable Tuna


My name is Ray Halliday.

Recently, I was given (gifted) twelve cans of (from the label) the best tuna: Chicken of the Sea, SOLID WHITE TUNA, Albacore in Water. This tuna, although, I'm sure, delicious, is slightly past it's best by date of August 2009.

This blog will be a testament to my endeavor to eat these twelve cans of tuna.

Good luck to me.